Yesterday, we put my dog on a drip at the clinic for half a day - I didn't want him there overnight. he would be so scared.
BB had been very weak from old age recently - it started when he couldn't stand up properly and kept knocking into walls as he trundled around. 2 days ago, he was dragging himself around the apartment, as if trying to see everything and everyone for the last time. Yesterday morning, he could not get up anymore, and just laid there by his waterbowl. I will never forget the look in his eyes that morning.
I can't stop crying now. Since he came back from the clinic, BB is completely immobile. When I flipped him over to change his sheets this morning, his head just rolled back, like he was dead. He is breathing, but he has lost consciousness. We wanted him to die at home, surrounded by loved ones, but now, it seems like such a cruel thing to do -- when I see him unconscious, wetting the bed, and just dying slowly from lack of food and water. I have reached a point where I see putting him to sleep as a kinder option, but my parents are reluctant, and I have nothing but my tears in reply.
BB has been with us for 15 years. When I look at old pictures of him when he was young, and him lying in his bed in my parents' room now, I just cry for the whole day. I want to remember him like this, not suffering in death...
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